Your Hero, A Scumbag.
If someone you look up to has been accused of sexual violence, this article is for you.
- TRIGGER WARNING -
This article contains news articles and footage concerning sexual violence and suicide, which may be triggering to read/see for survivors.
In a discussion about famous people and cults, my friend made a comment many wouldn’t dare to refute: You know who the real heroes are? Doctors and nurses, because they save people.
It’s a noble comment for sure, and saving people definitely is on my list of heroic actions, but let me break it to you: not all healthcare workers are heroes.
When I opened the newspaper today, the first headline that caught my eyes concerned a doctor from Belgium, who had been convicted for 8 years. Why was this doctor convicted? Because he raped his granddaughter. The baby-girl was 5 months old when he assaulted her.
What a way to start 2019.
Just at the start of the year already, I read about a woman who had been in a coma for 14 years, was raped, and gave birth to a child - while still in coma.
Nobody knew the victim had been pregnant.
Many journalists have been and still are referring to the case as an ‘alleged rape case’. It’s almost as if they believe it to be more likely that the victim could be an incarnation of a pregnant and comatose Holy Mary, over the fact that a perverted sociopath raped her.
Agree. I’ve had this conversation with journalists many times before. It’s typical to say, “alleged rapist” before someone is convicted. That’s understandable and fair to the accused. It’s problematic when you say, “alleged assault,” or “alleged victim.”— feminist next door (@emrazz) January 6, 2019
If a woman in coma is already not believed to be a rape victim when she shows the very result of rape - a pregnancy - what do other victims need to do to be believed?
A pregnancy usually lasts 9 months. A woman in coma for 14 years has not conceived prior to the coma and didn’t hibernate the fertile egg for 13 years while keeping it in the same stage all those years. There is no human sperm either that can survive for 13 years and takes that long to find a fertile egg. This isn’t difficult, it’s science and biology. Our bodies are subjected to rules. Attempting to pitch the most absurd possible truth as a possibility - which is what the media does - is madness.
It seems that ultimately there’s contempt towards the voices and truths of women and their bodies, and society rather wants to believe in fairytales than in the hard truth when it comes towards gender-based violence. Yes, men and boys get raped too and there are female rapists, but the majority of offenders are male, and the majority of victims are female.
It’s hard to hear, but it’s the truth - just as much as that your hero might be a rapist.
He or she can be your doctor, your favourite poet or musician; someone you looked up to and who has influenced your life.
Does it affect you? You might say no, but when you do, you’re wrong.
It’s vain and narcissistic to assume the rapes of others inflicted by those you love will not affect you in the very end, somehow. It’s neglect and part of rape culture to look away, and only care about you.
Thank you to the Black women and their allies who have worked for years to expose R.Kelly. Often overlooked or worse, you persisted, knowing you would one day make a difference. Your day is coming. We are grateful you stayed in the fight. https://t.co/RUxjooFoq5 #SurvivingRKelly— Stacey Abrams (@staceyabrams) January 10, 2019
The fabric of rape culture is tightly woven into our society and affects all elements of it. Kyle Stephens, a victim of Larry Nassar who molested dozens of girls, testified against him and said that her abuse led to her dad's suicide.
People are dying due to rape alone, and not just the victims of rape, but secondary victims also.
When people with power rape and others look away, the power of the rapist will only increase, and by that the voices of the victims become weaker. What it means in the long course? People stay silent. The result of that is more victims, and secondary victims.
I believe the brave women who've come forward. Please show your support to them, and especially amplify the voices of our black sisters sharing their own stories of abuse. White people need to do the work to show we are listening.#SurvivingRKelly #MuteRKelly— Pieke Roelofs (@PhotoandGrime) January 4, 2019
Dear @PhotoandGrime , when I accidentally clicked on a thread about your experience with Exurb1a, I did not believe my eyes. I was a fan of his and I admired his work blindly, oblivious of the shit behind the curtains. You have proof and I hear your voice. I believe you.— Natália (@natkakomi) January 4, 2019
What do you think the chances are that your hero accused of rape would be convicted, based on statistics below?
1745 investigated rape cases in West Midlands (UK) in 1 year with just 174 people convicted. (9.97%)
7066 investigated rape cases in Australia in 1 year with just 631 people convicted. (8.9%)
2952 investigated rape cases in South Africa in 1 year with just 340 people convicted. (8.6%)
1205 investigated rape cases in Avon and Somerset (UK) in 1 year with just 86 people convicted. (7.14%)
3535 investigated rape cases in Sweden in 1 year with just 216 people convicted. (6.11%)
131 investigated rape cases in Limburg (The Netherlands) in 1 year with just 3 people convicted. (2.29%)
823 investigated rape cases in Northern Ireland (UK) in 1 year with just 15 people convicted. (1.82%)
Your heroes can be scumbags.
It sucks, but it’s the truth. Even worse: the chances of their victims getting justice, are on average, if we rely on global statistics, between 5-15%.
If you worship a turd, you will find yourself in the gutter. So what are you going to do with that truth? I would like to humbly suggest the following: Don’t create heroes. It’s that simple.
Make actions heroic, not people.
My rapist also said he hated rapists. He also saved women from rapists. He then raped people. He hated himself. The irony. Just because you say you hate them doesn’t mean you actually do. Especially if you support them. Just means you don’t like the ones you don’t know.— Nicola Vaughan (@nikki_vaughan) January 10, 2019
Because in the end, anyone can commit crimes against the soul and humanity.
Even those who have shown courage and have done heroic things.
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