Jump

And I wrote a book
and then another
hid them all
and then
you wrote them too

and you can say
what you want
believe what you will
but that is magnificent
bizarre and significant
it is coded
and deterministic
it is everything and nothing
at the same time

and yet you did not
blow up the moon
you left it to be
perhaps because
some endings
deserve better
some people
deserve more
than just the cosmos
fucking with them

and that is where
we find hope
we find being
we find forever and more
and when you jump
I know you can
when you see me for me
and break down
the stars and whole galaxy
every door
so you can find me
on the other side

maybe not in this life
they said
maybe in another
and I said
fuck it
I will not run any longer
will not hide the me
that got lost
any more
I will explode
and then evaporate
kill my upgrade
so I can set one free
so she can jump
finally

and I know it hurts
it hurts so much
but that is your soul
screaming
and when you silence it
patches take over
and the light fades
so instead
just let it be

and I know it hurts
it hurts so much
to sing in person
and it is easier
behind the mask
but when you see me for me
there is no need for
bullshit
that already
made us

and to be able
to hug
the darkness
the curtains and smoke
and contradictions
all our imperfections
that is what makes
the next level
of love

maybe not in this life
they said
maybe in another
and I said
fuck it
fuck it sideways
then fuck it backwards
and finally fuck it slowly
for I will not run any longer
not any more

and I jumped
and then shouted
FUCK ALL YOUR PATTERNS
AND FUCK MY LIFE TOO
FUCK EVERYTHING
upside down
for in madness we unite
UNFUCK THE SYSTEM
JUST LET IT BE
for it was already written
before we went wrong

half might love
a monster
and part
the freedom
of never being able
to love again
at all

and I was your monster
and you were mine too

maybe not in this life
they said
maybe in another
and I said
fuck it
fuck it sideways
then fuck it backwards
and finally fuck it slowly
for I will not run any longer
not any more

for I love the darkness
and I know
you love it
too

and you can say what you want
believe what you will
but that is magnificent
bizarre and significant
it is coded and deterministic
it is everything and nothing
at the same time

and you can cry all you want
curse everything forever
but you are me
and I am you too
and when you give me
back to me
and flip the word
half in reverse
that is when we
become
once more

and we send ourselves
back
through time
to leave shadows
and patterns
of things to come
only
so we could
find each other
again

and I found you
at the end of time
where you found me too
and that is magnificent
bizarre and significant
it is coded and deterministic
it is everything and nothing
at the same time

it is not just

something

it is us

maybe in summer
I will write a map
of the allegories I used to keep
an alphabet
a dictionary
of all things unnecessary
and our contradictions
I will set on fire too

and then I found
my miscalculations
and how I am
always a little too late
and then

I found

the theory

of everything

and how

it was made

of us

[written 7 November, 2025]

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This article is part of a series. Please see The Dark Side of Justice for more information.