The Dark Side of Justice
[Last update: April 5, 2026]
This diary series provides a growing cross-platform map for understanding the ‘Blue is a wave’ song, as well as the public confessions of YouTuber Exurb1a, who speaks truths through metaphors and allegories.
Exurb1a ‘helped’ to build this map via his own videos and books. The ‘final' piece of this map was collected in 2026.
This series started on October 23 in 2016, when Pie, the author of this series, published a prose on photoandgrime.com titled The Final Fuck You. It was an abuse story hidden behind metaphors. Seven days later, she went missing.
While Pie was suffering from acute stress disorder in October 2016, she drove in a state of panic from The Netherlands to Norway. There, a friend looked after Pie to whom she disclosed some of what her former work-partner (Alex McKechnie - YouTuber Exurb1a) had done to her. This friend supported Pie when she decided she wanted to file a criminal complaint against this man.
A few weeks later on November 24, Pie was hospitalised for being suicidal.
In 2021, The Final Fuck You was collected as the first post in the series (see all below) The Dark Side of Justice: a collection of diary posts and poetry/prose Pie has written between 2016-2026. They concerned her experiences with this other YouTuber. These diaries trace her journey in trying to understand, coming to terms with and disclosing what happened in Exurb1a’s ‘Experiment A’.
Most importantly, the diaries show how Pie requested Alex to ask for forgiveness via the ‘Blue is a Wave’ metaphor.
This specific code references Pie’s 2019 post about her poem Slow Death - also collected in this series -, specifically the quote:
“When you beg for forgiveness and finally cave, sing me a song about how blue is a wave.”
In 2021, Pie decided to stop publishing videos on YouTube.
After Pie published her article He was 5 years old, Alex in 2023 on PhotoandGrime, this website went offline for more than a year and Pie essentially ‘disappeared’. In the background image of the website, she left an image variation of an instagram post she had shared in 2023 that had referenced ‘blue is a wave’, as a reminder to Alex what she was waiting for.
Blue is a wave was a private joke and metaphor between Alex and Pie and was also the password for one of their accounts in 2016 when they were still working together.
Following Pie’s online ‘disappearance’, in March 2025, Exurb1a released his video Losing You in which he begged ‘Parabola’ for forgiveness, finishing his story by singing a song. He subtly referenced poems and posts from this diary series, quotes from Pie and past conversations between them. He deleted the video soon after its release.
Pie only found out about its existence in October 2025, after which she wrote Alex and asked him to make it real.
On January 9, 2026, Pie made this blog public again in order to share her ‘final’ non-scheduled blog post On Forgiving and Dying, in which she responded to Exurb1a’s Losing You video and also shared her poem video Sylvia Plath which she had written years before but never released. In the video, she credited Alex for the inspiration, even though he never explicitly did the same in his own work.
Subsequently, YouTuber BulletBarry released his video Experiment A: Exurb1a’s confessions, episode 3, that same month. He did so after he messaged Exurb1a and asked him to make his Losing You video real - a request that was read by Alex but so far ignored.
With the help of among others journalist Vivek Rajkhowa, Barry revealed more info on the manipulation that took place during the experiment and Exurb1a’s attempts at coercive control while Pie was hospitalised. He also showed a pattern surrounding Exurb1a’s ‘confessions’ that he hid in philosophy videos (among others Dear Nia and Losing You) that pointed back to Experiment A and Pie, such as her poem Slow Death.
YouTuber BulletBarry also questioned the strange coincidences happening between Alex and Pie, and whether Exurb1a was still playing mind-games or if Pie could ‘predict’ the future.
Pie - who’s autistic - had previously observed patterns in Alex’ behaviour in the past and fragments of guilt he hid in his work. Based on it, she began sharing online what she expected would happen next. Pie made these ‘predictions’ via metaphors and allegories - her preferred method of communication -, across social media.
Below, examples of how Pie referenced lines from her Slow Death poem on instagram in 2020, suggested to follow the pattern, and in a 2021 post suggested to just ask me and let’s hide in the metaphors and allegories. Posts all subtly referencing her request for Alex: that he would ask for forgiveness.
The ‘blue is a wave’ song was one Pie’s predictions, that eventually came true.
Pie’s 2026 post On forgiving and dying is the ‘last’ article in this diary series.
It marks the end of an almost 10 year journey to hold a man accountable and inspire him to speak his truth and ask for forgiveness.
However, there are still hidden posts in this series that haven’t been released yet. There are other ‘predictions’ Pie made in those posts. If they happen to play out in reality, it will trigger the release of another post in this map. So depending on what happens in the future - this series perhaps hasn’t ended yet. In that sense, it defies linear time.
To truly understand this map, you need to read between the lines, merge past and present, and look at them simultaneously. Make the two one and the inner like the outer.
Those seeking order in the chaos we recommend to first read Story of an autistic whistleblower (written by Pie’s friends) before diving into Pie’s diary series, as her experiences are not shared in chronological order. When you read the aforementioned story first it might help you understand (through investigative journalism and fact checked news reports verified by multiple reputable sources) what happened to Pie, and why it has been a challenge for her to share her experiences, before you read them from her point of view.
This series is about strange coincidences, harm, accountability and finding no justice in failing legal systems. It’s about declaring war on a manipulated narrative, and taking it back by writing reality into existence via art. It’s also about redemption and forgiveness.
After reading it and following the map that will lead you all across the internet, you should be able to understand the meaning behind ‘blue is a wave’: what and who it refers to.
Enjoy.
There are 17 posts in The Dark Side Of Justice
(latest-oldest):
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